“Rights”

Recently, living in America has reminded me uncomfortably of living in China.

First there was the proposal of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the resulting uproar against it.  There was that one day where you couldn’t access Wikipedia the normal way, and instead had to use various roundabouts to get the information you wanted.  A lot of blogs were inaccessible, too.  It was crazy!  Oh wait, I did that for a year, paying $5 a month to have access to facebook, Wikipedia, CNN, and (for most of the year) blogs.  The reasoning behind SOPA and the Great Firewall is different – I understand that.  But freedom of speech once curtailed for one reason is easily enough thwarted for another. 

Followed shortly by that issue was the announcement by the Department of Health and Human Services that religious institutions will be forced to supply health insurance plans that offer free contraceptives and other “family planning” services to their employees.  This issue blew up so quickly that it seemed we bypassed some fundamental issues (birth control, really – out of all the drugs to make free?  Have we really decided that pregnancy is the most threatening disease?) and have moved right on to a debate over religious freedom. 

Today, across the country, people are gathering to “Rally for Religious Freedom”.  Someone derisively asked, "Is someone keeping you from going to church?”.  The answer, obviously (thankfully!) is no.  But the rest of the answer is that the practicing of one’s religion is – and should be! – more than just going to church. 

I confess that I thought the US Council of Catholic Bishops was being a little bit overdramatic when it warned about possible issues of conscience when the new health care reform was being debated.  I don’t believe that Obama has anything particularly against Catholics or Christians or believers of any religion, and I believed that the freedom of religion guaranteed in the constitution was pretty secure.  The death panels, forced sterilizations – I thought it was all hyperbole. 

And now I’m scared.  Because I see this mandate as a first step along the path that leads us to a place where the reproductive “rights” are valued higher than the right to religious freedom.  And I think that China is somewhere along that path, further ahead than us.  Remember,

Freedom of religion in the People’s Republic of China is provided for by the country’s constitution, with an important caveat. Namely, the government protects what it calls "normal religious activity," defined in practice as activities that take place within government-sanctioned religious organizations and registered places of worship.  [From Wikipedia]

But China has clearly decided that its interest in curtailing the growth of its population is greater than its interest in protecting the practice of “normal religious activity”, which for some religions that I’m aware of prohibits abortion, sterilization, and contraception. 

So yeah, I’m a little bit worried.  Not sure what other rights will fall before this “right”.  Not sure which Catholic institutions – or what still-practicing Catholic institutions – will be around when in 10 years.  Not sure what US policy will next mimic China. 

 

* Note: I think both articles I linked to make very good points, but I do take issue with the name calling they employ. 

Mad Skillz

While I was in China, I – like most visitors to the country – was continually astounded by the sheer amount of stuff that people managed to carry on a single motorbike. 

Families of five, 15-foot rebar, refrigerators or TVs, 30-40 full dispenser water bottles, etc.  Of these amazing feats of balance, strength, and recklessness, I’ve said that “Chinese people put more on a bike than the average American ever puts in their SUV.”

So now I’m at Stanford, and I again find myself impressed – on a daily basis – by people’s two-wheeled exploits.  The name of the game here is multitasking, not high capacity, but it is no less impressive.  People so rarely use their hands here that I wouldn’t be surprised to see dusty handlebars, and they don’t just let their hands dangle – they’re using them!

Things I have seen people doing while riding bikes:

• texting
• reading a map
• reading a newspaper
• putting on a jacket/sweater
• warming their hands in their pockets
• talking on the phone while drinking coffee

The last one was truly a magnificent thing to witness, as the woman executed a perfect > 90 degree turn with no hands and, as far as I could see, zero visibility. 

Only this state’s especially strict distracted driving laws make me feel okay about driving around these people . . .

Culture Shock

Culture shock is a funny thing.  Based on my experience, it seems to be not so much about differences, but rather about expectations of similarity. 

During my first three trips to China, it’s hard for me to point to many instances of culture shock.  I can think of one, and that was at the end of my two-month summer stay.  The thing is, I knew nothing about China – and I knew that I knew nothing about China.  I had no illusions about my familiarity with the language, culture, food, or anything else that I encountered.  Everything was very different from what I was used to, but I just accepted it as it was and moved on.

When I went back for the year, I felt reasonably adept at life in China, but my recent Chinese language course made me realize that my language skills were rudimentary at best.  Again, with low expectations, I adjusted fairly well to my new life. 

The culture shock came later.

Culture shock is a consequence of confidence.  The instances that easily come to mind (shopping in Beijing after my parents left, and Easter Sunday when a woman told me I’d been sitting improperly all year, for example) both came much later in the year, when I felt like I knew everything. 

The worst culture shock I’ve ever had in my life was my first day in Hong Kong.  I’d already been to Taiwan, so I thought I knew what “China-not-China” was like, and was NOT prepared for the reality of Hong Kong.  The aggressive English-speaking Indian men, the cost of everything, the Cantonese and traditional characters, the cars driving on the left side of the road – it all took me by surprise, going against all of my expectations, and was just too much for to take in all at once.  So I retired to my room and watched youtube videos for a few hours. 

In preparing to come out to California, I knew that the West Coast is different from the Midwestern/Central states that I’ve always lived in.  I was prepared for political differences and higher prices and not being able to carry a gun with more than 10 rounds (not that this was going to cramp my style at all). 

But it ended up being something much more mundane that got to me.  A few days after I arrived, I went grocery shopping and nearly ended up in the fetal position in a corner.  It wasn’t just that there wasn’t a familiar grocery store around – there weren’t any familiar products in the grocery store.  The brands were all different, and everything was organic or gluten-free or free-range or whatever.  Also (like Hong Kong) everything was more expensive than I was used to.   When you’re stocking a brand new apartment, it’s a long shopping trip, and by the end of the produce section I was ready to quit.  I was so happy when I saw something I recognized! (I feel like it was Old El Paso taco shells or something stupid like that.)

I’m not trying to be all small-town Oklahoma here or anything.  (When people ask, I say I’m from Oklahoma; I figure it is at least as accurate as any other possible response.)  When I tell Californians of this culture shock, I make sure to follow it up with the Hong Kong story, so that they know I’m not just freaking out because we don’t have stoplights in the town where I grew up or something stereotypically small-town like that.  Like I said, culture shock isn’t as much about differences as the expectation of similarity.  My Bulgarian roommate nailed it on the head when she said, “But you’re from America!”.  I would never assume that Xinjiang is basically the same as Xiamen, but it’s easier to fall into that trap when you’re dealing with your own country. 

The culture shock passed quickly enough (well before the dairy aisle), and now two weeks after arriving I am feeling pretty settled in.  I’m still getting used to all of the proper nouns associated with my new home (cities, roads, stores, brands, etc.) – a challenge with any move – and I’m sure there will be surprises ahead . . . but I did it in China and I’m pretty sure I can handle California. 

Uh oh, there’s that confidence again . . .

You Know You’ve Been in America Too Long When . . .

I’ve been doing some digital cleaning up and came across a list of “You Know You’ve Been In China Too Long When” that I apparently never posted.  It’s a little bit of a tired list, but a few of my favorites are:

1. Putting leftovers directly into a plastic bag seems normal
2. You can’t access your own blog
3. Steak with rice sounds just fine.
4. You start referring to yourself as ‘laowai’ or ‘foreigner’
5. You have to pause and translate your phone number into English before telling it to someone.
6. Someone ‘draws’ a character on their hand and you understand.
7. You see nothing wrong with standing on a white stripe in the middle of a highway while cars whiz past you at 90kph
8. You know words in Chinese for which you don’t know the translation in English.
9. You convince yourself that it doesn’t matter how dirty the cooks’ hands are, cooking will fix it
10. You start to buy an XXXL T-shirt in a store when you returned home

But then that made me curious . . . are there equivalent lists for foreigners who live in the States for a while?  A quick googling yielded this: You Know You’ve Been in the U.S. Too Long When . . . (translated from Japanese)

• You wear a T-shirt even in winter
• You blow your nose in public
• You feel you’re lucky when the train has arrived 5 minutes late
• You think it’s natural to say thank you to a cashier in a supermarket
• You use paper napkins like water
• You are not surprised when you see a very fat person, and you feel you are slim
• You don’t mind using a dowdy umbrella
• You don’t even carry an umbrella
• You feel uncomfortable when a shop staff bows to you
• You go across a street when the light is red but there are no cars
• You’re able to drink blue or green colored soft drinks without hesitating at all
• The fact that your waitress is wearing shocking pick nail polish doesn’t surprise you one bit
• You receive compliments from others you’re not humble at all and just say “thanks”
• You’re not excited or impressed at all when you see a real gun
• You’re amazed at the cleanliness of the toilets in Narita Airport
• You don’t think anything of young girls wearing camisoles that completely reveal their bra straps. To the contrary, when you let your guard down you find yourself doing the same as well
• You see a size 30 cm women’s shoe in the shoe store and you don’t even respond, “Geez that’s huge!”
• You leave a space of about 50 cm between you and the person lining up in front of you at the supermarket
• Your “skirt to pants” ratio becomes 1:4 (meaning you own 4 times as many pants as you do skirts, for girls of course)
• You you have completely lost the habit of dividing up your trash

Isn’t that interesting?? 

Chinese Generosity

Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have been trying to get the world’s billionaires to pledge to give away half of their fortunes.  Recently, they went to China to get those guys on board – and the trip apparently didn’t go so well. 

I just read a NYT article on it, in which they interviewed a few of China’s billionaires.  (Only ones who agreed to participate agreed to be interviewed, though, so there was definitely some self-selection bias). 

The article contained the best description of Chinese generosity that I’ve ever seen:

It’s like water. If you have only a cup, you keep it to yourself. If you have a barrel, you share it with your family. And if you have a river, you share it with everyone.

- Chen Guangbiao, on money

Compare and contrast with the American/Western/Christian view on generosity – go.

Why the Chinese Carry Umbrellas

After a late rising and a meal of mangos and egg tarts (breakfast of champions!), I 爬山-ed up to the tall building.  I registered for my completion-of-studies certificate and finally got my HSK certificate, officially verifying my 中等B季 (B-level intermediate) Chinese skills.  Sweet!

I kind of started packing before I met XuLei for dinner.  I’ve been teaching her an English word a day recently, starting with “party pooper” when she refused to stay up all night to watch the World Cup final.  My goal is to find useful words that native speakers actually use and ground them with a personal experience – it is the best way to learn after all.  So we started with “party pooper” (It’s like a bunch of people want to have a party, but you poop on it) and, when the conversation turned to plans for my last night in country, I taught her “skinny dipping”.  Hahaha.  She was mortified. 

Carlos and I had plans to play games with his work friends again, so we headed out to meet them after dinner.  Carlos had told me about a different version of Catan he had sighted in a board game shop, and through the power of suggestion we became convinced it was Cities & Knights.  (Cities & Knights is the awesome expansion to Settlers.  Cities is to Settlers what milk tea with pearls is to its pearl-less counterpart; regular milk tea is good but you don’t realize what excellence you’ve been missing until you try the 珍珠.)

But, seeing as Settlers of Catan has both cities and knights, it proved to be very difficult to discuss the game clearly.  In the end, no one had Cities so we just played a game of Settlers with 6 players.  And to add insult to injury, I lost!

Afterwards, the owner of the board game shop suggested another for us to try: a French game called Dixit.  It’s like Dictionary (a.k.a. Balderdash) mixed with Apples and Apples, featuring artsy French illustrations.  Everyone has a hand of six picture cards (all unique); one person lays a card face down and somehow describes the content of the picture with words, sounds, or actions.  Everyone else chooses the card out of their hand that best fits the description, lays it facedown in the piles, which is shuffled before people vote on which card they think was first laid down.  You get points for guessing correctly or causing others to guess correctly. 

It was fun and interesting, but I was really bad at it.  It may have been the fact that they all knew each other, because it’s pretty important to understand how others think when playing.  Like the one time Carlos said “James” (the name of one of the guys playing with us) as a clue and three of the six people played cards that had some sort of sword fighting on them.  But at least once there was an allusion that I caught.  The clue was “China” and cards included a girl being rescued from the jaws of a monster, a crowd of eggs or possibly houses, a thermometer filled with blood showing a high temperature, a table covered in food, and a map and compass.  Lots of possibilities there, but the 5 of us foreigners all chose the correct one – a sun shining over a sea of umbrellas – from the available choices.  The pictures are all a little ironic, or have something not quite right about them (umbrellas in the sun??), but in this case this one was absolutely perfect for the clue (yeah, if you’re in China!). 

 

We took a taxi back to West Gate and then Carlos and I walked home across campus.  We took a route I don’t usually take, Carlos leading the way.  Suddenly, he stopped and pointed to the tree in front of us.  “Look!”, he said, and I looked.  The tree indicated was surrounding by a glistening wet patch, and in the light of the streetlight next to it, we could see a torrent of water drops falling down.  It was weird looking – a rainstorm confined to the tree’s surroundings – but in a pretty way, because the water drops looked like jewels in the yellow light.  “It’s cicada pee,” he told me. 

My mind processed this information immediately.  Yesterday when I was walking under those trees by the supermarket, those drops were not air conditioner water.  DISGUSTING.

In 7 days I will land back at home.  Between the road trip my brother and I have planned, and the hordes of peeing cicadas here in Xiamen, I am totally ready. 

Tell Me How You Really Feel

I felt so much better this morning that I broke my 24-hour yogurt fast in the afternoon to eat a cookie.  It was a mistake, apparently.

But I still had a good time this afternoon.  I played two games of Catan with Aleid, Jelle, and Carlos, and won them both.  After Carlos dominated last time, things are back to how they should be. 

I went to see Toy Story 3 afterwards, which was everything everyone said it would be.  I really loved watching it in a theater full of young Chinese, hearing them exclaim “so amazing!” when Buzz flew across the room, and “so cute!” whenever the baby was on the screen. 

I’m out of sorts, though, perhaps an example of my mind mirroring my stomach.  Seriously, what happened to those six capsules of charcoal I ate??  I’ve been anxious all day, worried as if I was running late to something important.  But my pressing social engagements today were Catan, Toy Story, and a football game that I ended up skipping, so I don’t know what the big deal was. 

I guess XuLei got me a little bit down today, too.  I love the girl, really, and think she is one of the most caring people I know.  For example, as we were walking down ZhongShan Road she stopped to talk to a handicapped man who does calligraphy with his feet; when I asked how she knew him, she said that she just stopped to talk to him one day and gave him her phone number in case he ever needed anything.  After walking a bit further, we passed a man doing calligraphy with his mouth – he didn’t have arms either – and she said she knew him, too.

But she’s kind in a Chinese way.  While I know that she would never do anything to hurt me on purpose, sometimes it’s not enough to know intellectually that this brutal honesty is not considered rude in China.  Today was much worse than usual, with her asking me “Why is your face thin, but your stomach fat?” and “What’s with the black area under your eyes, didn’t you wear makeup today?”.  (I did wear makeup today . . . and this is why I don’t ever wear contacts in China anymore, because people constantly worry that I’m on the verge of death from sleep deprivation or something.) 

Another note on an aspect of Chinese culture that continually stuns me – bus etiquette.  I’ve gotten used to the shoving during the boarding process and the way that guys will take seats that leave girls standing while everyone will immediately give up their spot for a pregnant woman or old person.  But lately I’ve been shocked on a regular basis by what I can’t help but see as incredible self-centeredness. 

Two people get on the bus and head for the back, which has rows of four seats, separated into 2 and 2 by an aisle.  There are only two adjacent seats left.  In America, the first person would sit down and scoot over, allowing the other person to sit down on the aisle.  In China, the first person plops down in the first seat (obviously, because it’s the most convenient) and sits there expressionless while the second person awkwardly climbs over them to the window seat.  This is of course hampered by the proximity of the chairs (not enough room for me to sit straight) and the horrible bus design that puts some seats flat on the ground.

Aaah!  I can think of no circumstances under which this would be okay in America.  Even if you were already sitting in the aisle, if someone wants/needs to sit next to you, social convention dictates that you either move over or stand up to allow them to get to their seat easily. 

I wonder, what customs do we have that other people think are rude?  The habit of splitting the check, I know, but what else?

China In The News

Good thing I went to class today, otherwise who knows when I would have gotten around to learning the Chinese word for placenta?  (胎盘, because I know you were wondering.)  I also learned that an acceptable euphemism for “to die” is “to go see [Karl] Marx”.  If someone actually used that in a sentence, I would not be able to express the appropriate sympathy (“don’t be too sad”, not “I’m sorry” because that implies it was your fault) because I would be trying too hard – and most likely failing – to contain my laugher. 

 

One of the most interesting parts of my day is reading the news.  I will go down in history for this quote of mine that is repeated in everything ever written about me: "The intimate connection with a community in another part of the world has given me a different perspective on domestic and international issues that I could not have gotten any other way.”  Not what I want engraved on my tombstone, but it’s true.  I read the news in a slightly different way, and a surprising amount of it relates, directly or indirectly, to China or to my experiences here.  For instance, today:

• In the comments on an article discussing classical education, I found an old stereotype: “For example most Asian countries by the time a student is out of high school has already studied multivariate calculus and linear algebra.”  I can’t say that I’ve had in-depth discussions with my Chinese friends on the level of their math skills (which is not to say that I don’t now have plans to do so tomorrow!), but I’m gonna go with a ‘no’ on this one.  I have two friends who are ME and Math majors, and when I listed the classes I had taken (I’ll admit, partially just to show off that I know how to say “partial differential equations” in Chinese), it seemed like they had taken them about the same time as me.  But, enough with my gut feeling – expect evidence soon!
• I’ve been following the news of the strikes in Shenzhen and Shanghai, and the results they’ve been getting.  Interesting points include the fact that the government is allowing these strikes to take place, the doubling of salaries that has been among the concessions and its potential impact on the assumption of Chinese labor, and the absolute numbers provided on their salaries.  The new salaries are 2,000 RMB per month (plus many benefits like lodging and other stuff); this is about $300 in US dollars but a better comparison is my living stipend, which is 1,700 a month and just manages to cover my food, cell phone, and internet in Xiamen. 

There’s also been some local news causing quite a buzz – a double murder by the Marco Polo Hotel last weekend.  Even more shocking, it was a foreigner who killed two other foreigners.

 

I was having a slightly down day, but thankfully Aleid got back from the Expo today and we went out to Paradise Bar.  It was my first time going to a bar on a weeknight – I mean, I don’t even go regularly on weekends.  It was Ladies’ Night, which meant two free cocktails for us girls.  If it was intended to attract women, was a raging success; if they were hoping to use us to attract paying male customers, this bar will be bankrupt within the month.  A friend asked me at one point, “This is any American guy’s dream, right?”  I looked around and figured she was probably right.  This many beautiful foreign women, dressed up (to show off new items from the tailor) and slightly buzzed . . .

But unfortunately (for the bar) there were only three men there to appreciate it – one definitely taken and the other two gay. 

 

I got back home and was delighted to see a few emails, responses from messages I had just sent this afternoon.  Considering there a point not too long ago when I thought maybe my email wasn’t working because promised messages were not coming when they were supposed to, this was a fantastic surprise.  I also got to chat with a few friends on gmail.  I’m glad someone was on gmail because as soon as the clock strikes midnight in China no one is left on QQ – literally 0 out of 32 friends.  This is partially because the undergraduate dorms lose electricity at that point.  Now you’re thanking God that you’re American, aren’t you?

Thank God I’m An American

XuLei teases me sometimes about how comfortable my life is here at XiaDa.  But I’ll have you know, it’s not always easy being me.  For instance, today I couldn’t just sleep in however late I wanted.  No, I had to be up and ready at the crack of 9 to go for a massage.  I know, I know, life is tough.

Kristina and Nathalie took me downtown to the Center for Blind Massage where you can get an hour-long massage any morning for 38 kuai ($5.50).  I feel a little cheated because my woman could actually see, but overall I was immensely satisfied.  We staggered out of there after our hour was up, feeling incredibly exhausted – a little strange when you consider we’d been laying down for the last hour, but apparently normal after an intense massage.

I had class all afternoon, which was boring without even anything worth commenting on.  I’ve realized that, while studying Chinese in China is definitely more social and possibly more fun than studying engineering in Tulsa, studying engineering at TU is infinitely more interesting than studying Chinese at XiaDa.  In comparison to the drivel produced by the Beijing Language and Culture University, my statics book was riveting.  I fondly remember days of homework that required me to calculate the stress in each member of a complicated truss, which is less mind-numbing than making endless sentences in the structure of “不但…而且…”.  After today’s class, in which I had to listen to each classmate explain how they would handle a child who refused to do their homework, I long for a Constanda or Tipton lecture or even an extended derivation of engine-balancing with Dr. Daily. 

But class only lasted for so long, and then I was free.  I had dinner with XuLei and Lester, and we pumped her for information on the 高考, the national college-entrance test that finished up today.  I guess I thought senior year was a little stressful for me, dealing with the insane amount of mail, visiting colleges I was interested in and visiting colleges that were interested in me, filling out 10 applications, waiting for replies, and then finally choosing.

But man, today I thank God that I’m an American – because it’s much worse in China.

The 高考, unlike our ACT and SAT, is offered exactly once each year.  Students have one chance, and one chance only, to take this all-important test.  The test is such a big deal that construction in Beijing was temporarily halted to better allow students to focus on their studies! 

They’ll get their results back in a few weeks, after which point they will have about a week to decide where they will go to college – choosing from, of course, the 5 or so universities determined by their test scores. 

But it’s not over at that point.  Then they apply to their chosen school, and hope that they’re accepted because their application becomes measurably weaker (by docking points off their score) if it gets sent on to a second-choice school.

After hearing all this, I’m amazed that anyone makes it into college here in China.  I don’t know how she did it, but I’m so happy that XuLei ended up at XiaDa, because things wouldn’t be as good without her. 

Nothing

It rained all day today (again) and all of my classes were, for one reason or another, cancelled.  I had plans to get a two-hour massage for $10 (I know, right?!) but the friends I was going to go with cancelled.  So, what to do?

I decided to spend the day in the most lazy fashion I could.  I got out of bed at 9 but as of this writing (11:43 p.m.) I have not changed out of my pajamas.  I ventured out briefly to buy mangoes and bananas at Baicheng but that was the only exception to my self-imposed house arrest.  (While out, though, I stopped by the campus supermarket.  I was looking for some plain crackers but got distracted by a new kind of Oreo – ice cream flavored!  They taste pretty much like normal Oreos only they leave your mouth with a “refreshing cool flavor”.  It’s almost minty but without the minty flavor; truthfully, it feels eerily like you just finished a bowl of ice cream.  I finished the pack, trying not to think about the chemicals required to produce this wholly-artificial flavor.)

I ordered lunch from the restaurant next door – chicken curry and rice, $1.50.  I ordered dinner from the new pizza place at West Gate – small cheese pizza and garlic bread, $3.50. 

I moved my computer to my bed, which was my base for the day as I did flashcard reviews and watched TV shows on DVD.  I fell way behind on Anki reviews during and after my trip to Jilin, so I started the day with 2,072 flashcards due.  It was hard and took nearly four hours (and most of the fourth season of Psych) but I made it through all of them!  I filled four-and-a-half sheets of paper with characters, which looks a little something like this:

Please be impressed . . .

 

Two other things of note today:

Some of my friends just had a baby.  Apparently.  I mean, based on the invitation to a baptism that I was emailed today, I’m assuming that they had a baby – but you know what happens when you assume.  It’s the first I’ve heard of a pregnancy, much less a baby, so I was a mixture of surprised and really confused.  I probably shouldn’t be surprised since a) I have been gone over nine months and b) most of what I know about my friends’ lives come from my facebook newsfeed, not like direct communication or anything.  I guess the most surprising thing is that I heard no hint of it on facebook? 

 

Also, today is the anniversary of nothing.  It’s just a day, like any other.  No big thing.  It may or may not happen to coincide with increased control and restrictions every year, but really – it’s nothing.  You just can’t hold a public gathering today.  No reason, why do you ask?